AhriaHikari

For a long time anyway. Stinking job has eaten more of my spare time than I thought. And it's rough, the place I work is probably the favorite breeding ground for cruelty and stupidity. I've be yelled at by customers for the dumbest of things, though for them complaining on prices I can understand. We sell a three star park for a five star price. To open a fetching cabana is like $50! And a tube to ride the slides with is $5-$13. We suck. Sadly, I have to defend these prices and take the butt end of people. One of my employee's got spat in the face for crying out loud!
Anyways, I won't be able to draw cause my one day off consists of naps and trying to maintain my social life with friends I won't see once I leave for college. Maybe one day I'll have a drawing spree but no promises. I do miss drawing though...

Wow, all registered for my first semester of college... what the heck happened? Its so weird, I've got my first job (That doesn't include helping at my parents restaurant and babysitting), I got my tuition for college paid. I've registered for housing, the honors program, and (soon) an RC job at the dorms. I'm frankly weirded out... by a lot.

I won't be starting till August but that weird air is still here, I'm so close. Only a few things I'm worried about. One: My autistic brother is going to flip when I leave. I'm his number 2 under my mom. He loves me and I love him. Two: I have to leave my boyfriend behind, even though were the same age he was born in November and thus missed the cut off date for school, so he's actually a grade under me. Three: I'll be on my own... that's just scary. Period.

Well, I have a whole summer to learn how to live solo. I guess we'll see what happens.

Holy crap its Christmas Eve, super special awesome!
Hopefully I can draw some stuff before the end of the year. Anyway, have a merry Christmas everybody! If you'll excuse me, I need to watch my autistic brother rewrite the nativity... like Mr. Bean.... but with terrorism and swearing.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
... That is all... *headdesk*

Inside is where we feel safe, outside we are painfully vulnerable.
Life throws cruelties at us that we can't hide from.
We hide it. Always hiding it.
Not wanting others to pity us.
Not wanting others to cry with us.
We want to smile at them.
Be strong around them.
Though inside we are dying.
Heartbreak, truth, lies.
Slashing at our souls.
And all we do is smile and hide our pain.
We don't want others to know.
Its a weakness.
But secretly.
We want to show them.
We want them to hold us as we cry.
But that adds more pain.
We don't know how to cope.
Who to turn too.
How to talk to the ones we still love.
We are lost in our torn souls, wishing for them to find us.
Is this really helping us, saving us?
I don't know anymore.

I still love him, and I think he still loves me.
But why did we fall in love so soon.
Why does God torture me with this?